Zach Gibson!

“These characters are aliens, at one giant remove from everyday life, and the producers should not compliment themselves with the notion that Sex and the City 2 provides “escapism” in difficult times. We know about escapism and this is the opposite: it spits in the face of struggle and difference, and asserts a repulsive red-rope mentality when confronted with any life, or part of life, that stands outside Carrie Bradshaw’s wind-tunnel miasma of selfish needs. Yuck. This could be the most stupid, the most racist, the most polluting and women-hating film of the year, with a variety of ugliness that no number of facial procedures could begin to address.”

Jonathan: receSs tree all up in this bitch

me: FOUR TREES

Jonathan: Watering the tree is easy!!

me: “just go check out a key, then go to a supply closet, then water it, then go back to the supply closet then return the key”

itll only take up like 5 hours!

Jonathan: “don’t forget to sign out the key before you take it”

“be sure to contact michael to check out the key, he’s in most mornings, if he isn’t, you need to contact dale on the secondary line”

me: in which case dale will have you fill out emergency contact paperwork in case you or the key goes missing

that paperwork has 3 carbon copies, one of which knapp has to sign and one of which must be mailed to tree headquarters and one of which you have to eat within a minute and a half of finsihing the paperwork

Jonathan: occasionally, the watering pot you check out from the supply closet will run out of water

in the event that this should happen, there are three easy steps for rewaterification

first, bring the watering pot to the hydration bureau on 28th and T

me: open 11PM through 13 o clock

Jonathan: second, simply exchange your empty watering pot for a filled one at the replacement sub-office

me: located on floor b28

Jonathan: but don’t forget the third step, in which you’ll have to calculate the proportional value between the new watering pot’s amount of water and how much water the old watering pot had before you began watering your tree

so always be sure to take note of how much water you have!

me: dont forget your differential calculator!

Jonathan: ***ALWAYS USE METRIC***

 *****ALWAYS USE METRIC*****

me: if it is thursday past 4:00 you have to zipline back to the supply shed from its convenient location on the south hall roof

Lapides!!!!!!

Jack is all of a sudden in 300

Really Kate and Jack? Tits or gtfo

Duck tape ftw Miles ftw

Willy wonka commercials:)

Really Sawyer and Juliette? Togtfo Puh-lease

Rose and bernard! Rose and beard Blackbeard

….now what?

The pandora station ive spent all year cultivating and turning into the perfect playlist for me just played Mad World.  And no, not the Gary Jules cover.  A COVER of the Gary Jules cover.  Every time technology gets close to being my girlfriend it ruins things.

drewkaufman:

bryanwashere:

and for lunch, just ate half of a pie my mom made. I’ll never grow up…

I’m 22 and I’m watching Kids Next Door while I do my laundry. Fuck adults.

I’m 20 and sipping a scotch aged three years with my compadres as we discuss whether those space-crazy commies will make it to the moon before Kennedy.  Fuck anachronisms.

and watch the dollhouse.  At least the first six episodes